An Angel Among Us

Yesterday during church my husband Dan told me that there were some visitors that had a daughter that reminded him of my sister Elizabeth. As soon as I saw who he was referring to, I quickly made my way over to introduce myself and to find out about their handicapped daughter.

You see, my sister Elizabeth is severely retarded with grand mall seizures. Despite being 42 years old, her physical/mental capacity is that of an 18 month old. Many people have asked me if that was hard having a handicapped sister or if I ever resented her or felt like the other siblings were forgotten. My answer is a big fat NO!!!! I quickly will tell any inquirer that Elizabeth is the glue that holds the family together. After all, she is an angel.

I was one of the older siblings (3rd of 7), so I remember my sister as a little girl. She loved going for walks, staying outside all day eating dirt if we let her, singing "Go away little girl" over and over, making loud sounds and clapping/rubbing her hands together. She took a special needs bus to school while the rest of us walked (uphill both ways). She learned how to put large toy pegs into holes while we were learning reading, writing and arithmetic. In fact, one Christmas someone made her her very own gingerbread house and we couldn't have any!!! Resentment? No!!! Could have been, but my parents taught us about service, tolerance and love for all of God's children. And we had opportunities to learn those things on a daily basis in our home.

I cannot imagine the work it has taken my parents. They are 73 and 80 years old and still taking care of my sister inside of their home. What love! What dedication! What service! There is a special place reserved in heaven for my parents. I feel that that special place is somewhere close to where my angel sister will be.

So imagine the special gift it was to have a flood of sweet memories and tender feelings come back to me yesterday at church. This young girl is also an angel and her noises/outbursts were heavenly sounds. After all, we were in the presence of another angel.

In our house we love to share

Teaching a child the concept of sharing can be a long, hard and sometimes painful task. When I was teaching the Nursery age children (18mo-3yr) at church, I read some material that helps the teacher understand little kid development. It mentioned that most 18mo-3yr olds do not understand the concept of sharing but it was the perfect time to teach them what sharing is. I understand the little mind - "It's all about me!!!!". There have been many times I have thought that older kids don't get this concept either. I was wrong.

Now it seems that we have mastered the "sharing thing" quite well in our home, especially over the last few days. Sunday afternoon, with no warning at all, Ada decided to get the stomach flu. She is such a wonderful sister that she decided to share this lovely package of germs to her younger siblings. Yep - yesterday Travis, Abby & Elyssa joined the"barf bucket, candy canes, 7-up and saltine cracker club".

It's odd because I thought that if your kids learn to share my life was supposed to get easier. Ha! I have made countless trips up and down the stairs to restock "barf center" supplies and to keep the laundry going. Plus, trying to de-germify the house. My hands are raw.

Best part - if there really was one - is being home and loving on my kids while they are sick. It is yet another realization on how much I love being a mom and taking care of my kids. So, thanks Ada for sharing this with the family. We'll get better soon and life will be back to it's crazy normal, but I will enjoy this mom moment while I have it.

Thoughts about potty-training

I received a request to share my thoughts about potty-training. I guess when a friend shared my philosophy to a friend, they laughed and didn't believe it. So........for what it is worth..........

When my oldest, Erin, was 18 months old she was showing an interest in using the potty chair. I was so excited! Being an immature and proud mother I thought "I have the smartest, cutest, most talented child who is superior to most other 18 month olds because she is ready to potty-train." Man was I wrong! The novelty wore off within a few days and she was having "accidents" most of the time. I read somewhere that #1-once you start potty training you should never go back to diapers, 2-if they have an accident they have to clean it up, 3-use a clever/creative sticker chart (reward system), ya-da, ya-da, ya-da. We went at this for another 18 months and by the time Erin was 3 she finally figured it out.

I have told Erin countless times that she will probably have to go to therapy because I potty-trained her too soon. If she has any faults we can blame all of them on the agonizing 18 months that I tried everything to get her to use the "big girl" bathroom.

I never made that mistake again. The books, advice and strategies where all thrown out and I got a little smarter with the remaining children. My advice for potty training...........

DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!

Yes you heard me right. Chill out, don't worry about it, what is the hurry? Most kids will figure it out before kindergarten. So, when my children would show interest in going potty, I would talk them out of it, convincing them to wear a diaper. When they started to insist, beg, plead with me to wear panties, then I would do it. But it had to be their idea, not my parenting agenda. Most of them had it figured out by 3 years but some were pushing 3 1/2. They had it all figured out (#1, #2 and being dry all night, within a week). Once I chilled out it was easy - no charts, begging, cleaning, anything.

Sorry Erin (who is now almost 22, married and a senior at BYU), you were my guinea pig and hopefully you aren't scarred for life. Thanks for going through this to save your younger siblings from the pain and suffering.

I suppose that we could use this philosophy in many different ways. One, we need to chill out a lot more. And two, if it is the child's idea/desire they are more likely to do it - with ease!

"No other success can compensate for failure in the home" - David O. McKay

This blog is dedicated to strengthening home and families through motherhood. I firmly believe that strong mothers can make strong societies. This is my all-out effort to help strengthen families through thoughts, feelings, experiences and life lessons learned.