Sunday, February 19, 2012

Thoughts about potty-training

I received a request to share my thoughts about potty-training. I guess when a friend shared my philosophy to a friend, they laughed and didn't believe it. So........for what it is worth..........

When my oldest, Erin, was 18 months old she was showing an interest in using the potty chair. I was so excited! Being an immature and proud mother I thought "I have the smartest, cutest, most talented child who is superior to most other 18 month olds because she is ready to potty-train." Man was I wrong! The novelty wore off within a few days and she was having "accidents" most of the time. I read somewhere that #1-once you start potty training you should never go back to diapers, 2-if they have an accident they have to clean it up, 3-use a clever/creative sticker chart (reward system), ya-da, ya-da, ya-da. We went at this for another 18 months and by the time Erin was 3 she finally figured it out.

I have told Erin countless times that she will probably have to go to therapy because I potty-trained her too soon. If she has any faults we can blame all of them on the agonizing 18 months that I tried everything to get her to use the "big girl" bathroom.

I never made that mistake again. The books, advice and strategies where all thrown out and I got a little smarter with the remaining children. My advice for potty training...........

DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!

Yes you heard me right. Chill out, don't worry about it, what is the hurry? Most kids will figure it out before kindergarten. So, when my children would show interest in going potty, I would talk them out of it, convincing them to wear a diaper. When they started to insist, beg, plead with me to wear panties, then I would do it. But it had to be their idea, not my parenting agenda. Most of them had it figured out by 3 years but some were pushing 3 1/2. They had it all figured out (#1, #2 and being dry all night, within a week). Once I chilled out it was easy - no charts, begging, cleaning, anything.

Sorry Erin (who is now almost 22, married and a senior at BYU), you were my guinea pig and hopefully you aren't scarred for life. Thanks for going through this to save your younger siblings from the pain and suffering.

I suppose that we could use this philosophy in many different ways. One, we need to chill out a lot more. And two, if it is the child's idea/desire they are more likely to do it - with ease!

3 comments:

  1. Don't worry mom, this is precisely what Nik is for in my life. He will keep me from needing too much therapy.

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  2. My daughter potty trained herself because I just made sure she was ready. Before her 3rd birthday, I said, if you want your ears pierced you have to start using the potty. She did it all herself that very day. She had only 1 accident her first week. So, I totally agree! Wait until they're ready, it's so much easier for both of you. Now, we still struggle with my two potty trained kids with night time bed wetting - but I'm not surprised. Bed wetting is BIG on my side of the family. Like nothing you can do will stop it.

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  3. Rochelle,
    Glad you figured it out with #1. No therapy needed.

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